Cashiers, restaurants, gadgets and orgasms

Quick note to pen these incidents before I forget… The first instance was rather amusing and tells me how business is still conducted at the grassroots level (if we can call it that). And the second was orgasmic. Please be patient for the second one (evil grin!). Here we go:

Incident 1:

On my way from Mumbai to Pune, we stopped at the food plaza just before the Lonavala ghat for a quick bite. As I strolled up to the window to place my order the following conversation took place between the manager of the place and the cashier (the actual conversation was in Marathi, but I shall translate it into English and reproduce):

Manager: Whenever someone is here to place their order, tell them that the lassi is great or that the chaas is very good today. If they order only food, tell them that something else is better.

Cashier: Ok.

Manager: Have them order more. Make sure they order more than they intend to.

Cashier: Ok.

Manager: Increase the order. Make sure they spend more than they intend to. Get them to spend more.

Cashier: Ok.

Me (to Cashier): Don’t upsell to me, please.

Cashier: (smiles)

I have a witness in my wife to the conversation if any of you doubt it took place. It was hilarious, eye-opening and ear-popping at the same time. Imagine some boss in a publication giving this motivational speech to the classifieds staff telling them to hardsell over the counter. Heh!

For the record, the cashier tried to hardsell but I wasn’t falling for it. Smart, no?

Incident Two:

The second incident has more to do with touching. No, not that kind you perverts (but I did mention the orgasmic part, right?). It so happened that in the evening (once I was back in Pune) I paid a visit to my regular gadget shop on FC Road to check out the new stuff. And lo and behold, what has he? An Apple iPhone. Have mercy!

Once again, the wife was with me. And while she was trying her best not to look bored with goings-on, she herself was besotted with the brilliance, opulence and the sheer magnetic nature of the iPhone. The price? Rs 35,000, 33,200 (Oct 4), 25,000-0dd (Oct 8th) or thereabouts (I may get a discount if I ever have that kind of money!).

It was a dream. Holding the Jesus phone… that’s one thing on my birthday wishlist (friends, family, enemies, those who wish to bribe… please take note).

Ahh. The iPhone was in my hands today.

Ahh.