Despite her state, there was a strange sense of pride in her about her situation. She had been through this previously – no less than thrice. And each time she had known herself to be strong enough to get up and get a move on. This time would be no different, she told herself. But the one question that kept haunting her refused to die down. “Why me?”

It had already been an hour and there was a fair bit of activity around her. The sentries were running around hoping to get a hold of the offenders. The elders were in discussion yet again. And the village Heralds had awoken to their latest prey like vultures circling a carcass. She didn’t care about any of this any more.

As her pride subsided and the pain of the moment took over, she returned to her haunting question. What hadn’t she done for her children? Somewhere in her heart, she knew that one of her children was responsible for her present situation. And yet, she couldn’t bring herself to blame him. “He must be misled,” she thought.

But even if he was misled, she wondered how he had brought himself to do the deed. Didn’t he care for her even a bit? Was there no affection at all? After all, she had given him everything he had. And would continue to do so. Or had she offended him in some way? But how? She only knew how to give. Her children fought amongst themselves, but she ensured they all had the same opportunity at life. Hadn’t she loved them all equally?

Yes, there were occasions when she had to be strict with one of her children. But which mother doesn’t? It was for their own good. Yes, there were times when she had to be unfair to them. But that was to teach them the ways of life. Surely they didn’t hold that against her…

She will forgive them, she decided. “But what is to become of these fatherless children? Who will take their responsibility,” she wondered. She knew she was going to be around for a long time yet, but each of these indiscretions and offences would take its toll. Until she was no more. “Who will be the father to these children,” she thought again.

“And who will love me now?” This was a question she had no answer to. The village performers – like the heralds and the elders and sentries – always spoke highly of her. She was their muse, their ruse, their inspiration, their desperation. Their friend, their guide, their wife. Or was she?

With every indiscretion against her, she had started questioning the love of her children. And now, her own lovers were no longer enough to protect her. “Am I anyone’s wife?” She was now sure that she wasn’t loved by any. Everyone needed her, but no one loved her. Yes, that she was sure of now.

Her latest realisation threw up another uneasy thought. That she was indeed nobody’s wife. But everyone wanted her. And used her. She was a whore. Everyone’s.

As she lay nursing her wounds – alone again – there was almost a simultaneous realisation among her children. Wherever they were. That indeed they did love her. And that they couldn’t bear to see her suffer so over and over. Wasn’t there something they could do? What can they do?

Whether or not they could do something, they had to find a way to show her that they loved her. They had to let her know.

Just say the words, “We love you Mumbai, we do.”

A few questions to this statement by the Shiv Sena chief Jitendra Janawale:

The scene in question is totally against Maharashtra’s Hindu culture. No sooner the posters were put up all over the city, we got lots of complaints from people, esp. from the concerned parents of school children, stating that the said posters were in bad taste. We have anyways issued a strong warning to the filmmakers through the media. We want all the backless posters that have been put all over the city to be removed as soon as possible. Failing which, we shall protest against the film when it releases.” “How are such obscene posters being allowed by the authorities.everal women and children pass by the posters. What effect will it have on them.”

1. What is Maharashtra’s Hindu Culture?
2. Is abuse of minors part of “Maharashtra’s Hindu Culture”? If not, shouldn’t you concentrate more on solving this problem rather than carrying out such gimmicks for publicity?
3. How do you define nudity?
4. You say “we got lots of complaints from people, esp. from the concerned parents of school children”. Do you keep records of these for us to see?
5. Can you please do something constructive?

Wonder what their friends the MNS are up to…

And so to add to his long list of Patil-isms (they do sound woefully similar to Bushisms), here’s another untimely gem from yesterday.

“Before I could reach there, the terrorists who had attacked one of the hospitals, the Cama hospital, had left and those who attacked the Railway station had also left”.

Go suck an egg.

And the people standing so close are really ‘stoopid’ as the title suggests.

Link via Twitter from Priya Shah.

Incident 1:

On my way from Mumbai to Pune, we stopped at the food plaza just before the Lonavala ghat for a quick bite. As I strolled up to the window to place my order the following conversation took place between the manager of the place and the cashier (the actual conversation was in Marathi, but I shall translate it into English and reproduce):

Manager: Whenever someone is here to place their order, tell them that the lassi is great or that the chaas is very good today. If they order only food, tell them that something else is better.

Cashier: Ok.

Manager: Have them order more. Make sure they order more than they intend to.

Cashier: Ok.

Manager: Increase the order. Make sure they spend more than they intend to. Get them to spend more.

Cashier: Ok.

Me (to Cashier): Don’t upsell to me, please.

Cashier: (smiles)

I have a witness in my wife to the conversation if any of you doubt it took place. It was hilarious, eye-opening and ear-popping at the same time. Imagine some boss in a publication giving this motivational speech to the classifieds staff telling them to hardsell over the counter. Heh!

For the record, the cashier tried to hardsell but I wasn’t falling for it. Smart, no?

Incident Two:

The second incident has more to do with touching. No, not that kind you perverts (but I did mention the orgasmic part, right?). It so happened that in the evening (once I was back in Pune) I paid a visit to my regular gadget shop on FC Road to check out the new stuff. And lo and behold, what has he? An Apple iPhone. Have mercy!

Once again, the wife was with me. And while she was trying her best not to look bored with goings-on, she herself was besotted with the brilliance, opulence and the sheer magnetic nature of the iPhone. The price? Rs 35,000, 33,200 (Oct 4), 25,000-0dd (Oct 8th) or thereabouts (I may get a discount if I ever have that kind of money!).

It was a dream. Holding the Jesus phone… that’s one thing on my birthday wishlist (friends, family, enemies, those who wish to bribe… please take note).

Ahh. The iPhone was in my hands today.

Ahh.

It so happened that when in Mumbai, the wife and I headed over to one of our old haunts, Crepe Station off Carter Road for lunch. Excellent food, I tell you. We chose to sit indoors what with the heat and all no longer agreeing with us Bangalore/Pune people (we’re still sort of settling down!). For anyone who has been to Crepe Station would know that there are four tables in close proximity inside. For those who haven’t been there yet, well, now you know! So we took the one closest to the door and started taking in the surroundings. This place has some fine photographs that you can look at while the food arrives. It was about this time I noticed a group of three boisterous collegians. Two girls and a boy. Lucky boy, eh? Heh!

So them being loud is not the problem. The guy (incidentally a Maharashtrian; revealed thanks to some persistent eavesdropping by Yours Truly!) had braided hair and was somewhat proud of the fact that he looked more African than Indian. The girls were typically 18-20-year-olds and were giggling away at just about everything he said or did. No problem and for the record, no painful memories of "what if" either! The jokes were as mature as one would expect in such a group and tended to lean rather towards the profane. He did have an audience in his friends, I must add.

Seated at a table next to them was a pair of middle-aged ladies having a quiet Saturday lunch. Well-dressed, soft-spoken (therefore I cannot recreate much of their conversation) and successful at ignoring the motley bunch next to them. I have neither their capacity to ignore nor patience to overlook. I am, after all, a mere mortal. So as things progressed, I couldn’t help but notice the gentleman (sic) in question (not me) make a couple of random calls to friends telling him about a friend of his (female) who was "just right" for him. He also took the trouble of explaining her looks and emphasized that she was "just right" in "all the right areas". Whether this was a prank or a joke that they would have at my expense and laugh later, I cannot confirm. The conversation, however, was intriguing and as mindless as someone saying "yada yada Yada" to you for about 60 minutes. (Notice the variety in the Yadas. They can be interesting.)

Much of the mindless chatter amounted to nothing as one would expect when a bunch of college kids get together. It was, nonetheless, interesting to note how the choices of these kids have changed in just the last eight years. They know what kind of pepper would go on their dish. It still took me a couple of minutes to remember the two types of pepper I know: black and white! They seem to know what they are wearing and make a statement with that. I just hope I don’t look funny!

Amid all this, let us not forget the two ladies at the neighbouring table. They were enjoying a nice conversation about shoes, parties, auras at peoples homes and how their dessert crepes were going to become "one big lump of sweet". Hm. I decided to skip the dessert there in favour of a gelato (Chocolate and Cookies; excellent, I tell you) at Amore.

This enter event took place in about an hour and a half and I must say that I was not disappointed at choosing this venue over Lemon Grass off Turner Road. Quite a "crepe-y" afternoon!

That, however, is not the case with Bangalore and Pune. Both cities have a strong cultural heritage with local people being identifiable thanks to language, customs and a variety of other reasons. But is there a case when one has to say that the local citizens of a city are no longer fit for the city? And I ponder over this question with the utmost objectivity, difficult as that may be.

Does there come a time when the locals simply have to let go (a little bit at least) of their city’s cultural fabric and be a little more accommodating for the sake of the progress and improvement of the city? Is there also a case that ‘outsiders’ coming to the city bring in more positives than negatives? Is there also a possibility that the locals should sit back beyond a point and let more seasoned ‘settlers’ improve their city?

I don’t know the answers to any of the above questions, but I am inclined to argue "yes". Was it possible that without migration either Pune or Bangalore or for that matter, Mumbai, would have become the important cities that they are? Take a look at say, Cochin or Lucknow where migration is much lesser compared to these cities and perhaps my point may sound valid. Of course, I ignore ground realities such as governments, but then isn’t the government a reflection of the local thinking? Where one city chooses a government that may bring in investment and with it, the inevitable migration, another is keen to hang on to what is already there and hold on tight.

Is this even a point?

Tags: Pune, Bangalore, Mumbai, migration, locals, citizens

A recent map released on the Visit Britain site points out to Bollywood locations. Hang on! Wasn’t Bollywood in Mumbai? But hey, there is growing interest and the Brits are being smart. First it was coming to India and exporting stuff, now they are making the most of India’s exports. Smart!

“Britain’s popularity as a Bollywood backdrop can only help us raise our profile among this growing audience and Bollywood Britain will show them all they can enjoy while they are here.”

Fair enough. But when did the IIFA awards become the Oscars of Bollywood?

Madame Tussaud’s waxwork museum recently unveiled its latest likeness of a Bollywood superstar – Shah Rukh Khan. The actor is among the nominees at the IIFA awards, dubbed the Bollywood Oscars, picking up a best actor nod for his leading role in Don.

Sheesh. No one tells me anything these days!

Map can be downloaded here. [PDF warning!] | Above image courtesy the BBC.

During my travels, there was one thing that continuously rankled me. This was something that in fact began last week when I travelled to Delhi. How much of a disregard the average and above average Indian has for rules is mind-boggling. Simple things, really. When the air-hostess says “Please straighten your seat back”, do it man/woman. It’s for your good and of course the airline doesn’t want to pay if you break your neck during takeoff.

And why is it so necessary to switch on cell phones before the plane has come to a complete standstill? How difficult is life going to be if you waited another 3 or 4 minutes? But no. Everyone’s phones start beeping and ringing as soon as the plane starts taxi-ing. Whether it’s dangerous or not is debatable, but if you have been asked not to, don’t.

There are striking similarities between Bangalore and Pune especially in the traffic. And these were more painfully apparent than I cared to know this time. No idea why. Both cities (by that I refer to the people) show a disregard bordering on contempt for traffic signals, and any traffic rules in general. I won’t get into specifics or I’ll write for the rest of the day, but anyone who has lived in both cities will know what I say. Mumbai is marginally better but not too much.

And what’s with the incomplete look Pune has been displaying for a while now? When will the footpaths be ready? When will the roads be complete? When will electricity not fluctuate? The last one really cost us and we lost a TV, fridge and two ACs in a vague fluctuation on Saturday night. Despite all MCBs being in place (and no, that is not the combined swear-term!).

All the same, I really enjoyed both cities and yes, a lot of work and a family function attendance (why am I not surprised?) was achieved as was a trip to Kayani Bakery on East St. in Pune. Ah those wine biscuits. Time to bite into a few. Maybe I’ll have the plain cake before that… or the Shrewsbury? Oh the choice!