It’s all red, stupid.

The queen of item numbers, bad dances and horrendous dialogue deliver, Celina Jaitley has spoken. And according to her, the colour of every human emotion is Red. It’s that simple, you see. Maybe now, she could solve the mustery of 43 too!

Where do these starlets get their copy from? Is there someone writing it for them? I doubt it, because anyone with any writing skills would not come up with this:

See, every human emotion has a dark side to it. That could be something to do with being happy or being in love – just about everything has a dark side to it. For example, you could be happy, but that could be either due to a right or a wrong reason. And to sum it up, if an emotion like this has to be put in color, it would be nothing but RED!

On second thoughts, maybe they could. In any case, if this has intrigued/disgusted/tickled/traumatised you in any way, you can read the whole interview here.

[Via CosmoSpice and IndianPad]

Grand ‘Slam-e-Ishq’

Indians have been the source of upheaval now for the last few years. And this has not been restricted to any one field (like BPO), either. Now, it crosses boundaries, borders, barriers, races (the Jane Goody sort) and everything else that stands in its way. It total mayhem. It’s Salaam-e-Ishq. One would also have to struggle to find so many high-performing couples in the Australian Open mixed doubles. Hm. Bad joke. There’s plenty more ahead!

Continue reading »

Kaun banega bore-pati?

Well, I had the misfortune of watching Shah Rukh Khan host KBC-III last night (Jan 22). I appreciate the fact that he has some rather large shoes to fill, but then it’s not the best way to start by announcing “Freeze kiya jaye”, is it? Worse still, one must refrain from hugging participants at the drop of a hat. SRK did not. He got up, massaged and hugged Prasenjit (the over-smart Excise Inspector from Kolkata) and kept giving him high-fives.

A role to which AB had brought much dignity was killed in the opening minutes with SRK belting out an interesting parody (it resembled AB+Adnan Sami’s Kabhie Nahi, if you ask me) and then proceeding to ham his way for the next hour.

How much he apes AB is a lesson in itself. AB did ICICI commercials, SRK went and got those. Now KBC and he didn’t even leave the famous recital from Amar Akbar Anthony (just before the “My name is Anthony Gonsalves” when AB emerges from an Easter Egg) and aped it in his aforementioned parody. And after this, he goes on to proclaim that there will be some “changes” like freezing stuff and all that. More like brain-freeze. Yawn!

But he did liven up proceedings ever so often. Once every 20 minutes, he cracked a joke. Hah.

All said and done, he is trying hard. As some would say, too hard. I wish he did not. And unfortunately, I cannot even wish he ‘be himself’. And stop with the hugging man!

Update: This photo of the endless hugging. This was in episode 1, wasn’t it?

Er, and SRK is the Indian Oprah? That explains the hugging! 

Shah Rukh is not forever!

Says the Big B! Sure Amitabh Bachchan is not finished. Who said he was? After all, the man has half a dozen releases coming up in 2007. But interestingly, in this interview (which sounds like it was over e-mail, mind you), he insists that Shah Rukh is not permanent. ?!?

Let me also say, nothing and nobody lasts forever, not Shah Rukh Khan, not me. It’s how long you last and what you achieve within that time that matters.

And on one occasion, it’s unprovoked. So definitely something has gone wrong between the top two guys in Bollywood. And yes, I understand a father doting on his son… but isn’t it a bit much much in this interview?

Is this insecurity? Shah Rukh has taken over KBC (albeit he does do a ham-job of it) and ICICI endorsements and perhaps eyeing more… time shall tell. But honestly, this “Abhishek is the best” raag needs to stop.

Crybaby!

Or is he really? Why are we so upset that Shilpa Shetty has had to face racial abuse in Channel 4′s Celebrity Big Brother? Is it because she is a celebrity? Or is it because we (in India) have finally got a chance to see (and read way too much) about what it’s all about?

Whatever the reason(s), I don’t think we should spend so much time, newsprint and airtime on this. After all, this is an issue that has often been faced by Indians around the world. And thus far, we have been subservient enough to live with it. So why start now? What’s it going to help achieve?

It would have been another thing if Shilpa had been travelling through the country and been abused like some erstwhile ministers have been (heh!), but here she is, being paid more than anyone else and obviously more capable and talented than anyone else (the profile of the other contestants doesn’t exactly sound A-List!).

But here’s what puzzles me. Shilpa Shetty’s Mummy-ji has said that they were not aware what the show is about when they signed the contract, reports Reuters. And I don’t blame them.

Shetty’s mother, who accompanies her on her shooting schedules, said they had had no clear idea of what the show was about when Shetty signed the contract.

When you are being paid Rs 3 crore (much more than any of the other contestants, mind you), you just sign never mind what it includes doing, right? Wrong. Mummy-ji to the rescue again. (from the same Reuters report).

“We said she will not do certain things like cook beef, wear a bikini or be made to go into a pool or be touched by a male.

“They agreed and also we said there should not be any camera in the bathroom.”

Step by step, now: No cooking beef: Ok. No wearing a bikini: WHY?!? I mean, isn’t that her USP? I would blame the channel for not being stronger on this point. Next: No going into a pool. Again… and finally: Not to be touched by a male: Geez, mamma, wrap her up and lock her in the house! What a waste!

But why all this hullabaloo by the mother of one of the sexiest women in India? And this title I just conferred is based on the image she has cultivated over the 40-odd films she has ‘acted’ in! The answer:

“Shilpa is representing her country and she has been extremely dignified and gracious with her housemates.

Gracious, dignified… who cares? I’m talking about the “representing India” part. When were the qualifiers held? Are there medals? What’s her rank? See… end of the day, this is a game show and there will be winners and losers. Shilpa, by virtue of the money she is making is already a winner. And she is on the show only for that. Cut the “representing India” bullshit. India (IMHO) would rather not be represented on such crap shows…

And needless to say, I am completely amused by this report in the Times of India where disgraced Miss Great Britain Danielle Lloyd says “Shilpa’s a dog.” I mean, get the gender right, dear. So much for the Queen’s English! Ms Lloyd has subsequently apologised to Ms Shetty. Hm.

And of course, no publicity is bad publicity. So all this rubbish will only help Shilpa Shetty resurrect her fledgling career as the TOI rightly points out (for once!). So Mummy-ji, please don’t give us that “representing India” nonsense please.

But the issue has reached the Parliaments of India and Britain. And as any politician would do, Blair has condemned the behaviour while the Indian government has decided to stick up for Shilpa. So guys, is all well in Iraq and Kashmir that you are wasting public money discussing a stupid show? Just thought I’d check in case I’d missed something.

And the British tabloids are having a blast with this show. This is a godsend for them! So much drama, so much to print. So many more copies sold. Whee! And here I am… for the last 30 minutes rambling on about this.

No wonder them TV channels make money. I’m the one who’s stupid giving this so much attention. Damn.

Guru lacks the punch

So much hype, so much expected and such rave reviews (Rotten Tomatoes, Yahoo! India, Rediff.com, Sulekha, Indian Express) all over the place. But for me, the movie just didn’t deliver. The punch was always missing and every time the movie looked like it was about to “pick up”, it went awry.

No point going into the story for you’ve either read about it or seen it (if no, click any of the reviews above), but I feel there was too much focus on Guru as a person while the movie was about Guru the businessman. Or did I see the wrong movie? (!)

And I have to ask the question that has already been asked a lot: What in god’s name is Vidya Balan doing in the movie? Was she supposed to be the character that shows Guru’s human side? That he could separate his feud with her grandfather and yet keep friendly uncle-like relations with her? Well, either ways, I think it was a waste of a character and footage.

For me, the movie was all about Abhishek and Mithun. Mithun, for his part was fabulous and understated (not a word normally associated with him) and interestingly, after playing sidekick to Big B (Agneepath) when he stole the show as Krishnan Iyer, M.A., he does the same as the media mogul (although, an honest one) in Guru.

Aishwarya Rai is bearable once again (makes it easier to forget D:2) and R Madhavan should simply stop doing Hindi movies. For he either dies (RDB) or ends up as an aside when he can certainly offer much more.

One observation: Did anyone else get the feel that this was similar to the Aviator in the way Guru justifies most actions? The similarities were even more striking in the end when Guru is facing the inquiry commission.

On the whole, I would rate this a 2/5 and that too for the concept and acting. Direction would perhaps get 1.5/5. Worth a look? Why not.

P.S.: Mallika Sherawat rocks. I am also told that her part (supposedly, she is the reason Guru leaves Turkey) is cut. Or was it just at the theatre I saw the movie in?

All Photos Copyright: Movie Buzz

Completely agree!

This is what I too feel about such ‘remixed’ albums.

[Via: The Humor Archives]

Catherine Zeta-Jones’ bosoms!

Saddam was hung, there are bombs in Thailand, an earthquake near Taiwan and we are interested in whether the size of Catherine Zeta-Jones’ bosom has changed. Very sad.

But if you are one the insensitive sorts who still cares, judge here. (I did!)

Indiatimes. At its best.

Irresponsible? Or plain callous?

Indiatimes.com homepage at approx 6pm (Dec 11, 2006)

The above headline implies that the Sensex fell to below 500 points. While the fact is that it fell BY about 500 points. And the story is correct. This is some editor messing up on the prepositions. Or a brain!

Story page image: [Link to story]

Here’s something…

Not every day that I find two hot pages. And no, these are not ‘those’ type of pages.

Ultrabrown has an awesome retrospective on Padma Lakshmi and then there’s the 2007 Kingfisher Calendar.

Yenjoy!

And please remember to pass on any more links of this kind. Most appreciated!