It appears to be in an evidence bag from the scene of a crime. A CRIME AGAINST BLOODY COOKING. Either that or some sort of back-street underground cookie, purchased off a gun-toting maniac high on his own supply of yeast. You certainly wouldn’t want to be caught carrying one of these through customs. Imagine biting into a piece of brass Richard. That would be softer on the teeth than the specimen above.

But what really takes the “biscuit” is the reply:

Paul Charles, Virgin’s Director of Corporate Communications, confirmed that Sir Richard Branson had telephoned the author of the letter and had thanked him for his “constructive if tongue-in-cheek” email. Mr Charles said that Virgin was sorry the passenger had not liked the in-flight meals which he said was “award-winning food which is very popular on our Indian routes.”

WTF!

Do see the link for photos of the food!

Catching the train from Dadar was as eventful as the journey itself. C1 was my bogey number and as I dutifully waited under the marquee for the train to arrive, one could feel something amiss. The announcements on the station made no mention of the ‘C’ bogeys. Only the ‘D’ ones were announced. As a result, even though the station markings showed C1 to be the third bogey from the engine, we were prepared for some last minute scampering. As was the rest of the platform since there would be a definite deviation from the markings and actual placements of bogeys. Sure enough, there was.

There I stood, sharp at 5:22 a.m. expecting to see C1 in front of me. Instead, it was D4. And with three minutes until the scheduled departure, there was no time for running across three bogeys on the platform. That was best done inside the train! And there began a game of "don’t step on my toes" interspersed with the occasional set of hop-scotch. Eventually, after trekking through four bogeys, we got into C1. But we didn’t know this was C1 since unlike earlier ‘D’ bogeys, there wasn’t any marking on this. Not inside the bogey anyway.

Investigations in C2 (obviously we overshot) revealed that a minor hike back was involved. And then there was the perennial issue of finding someone else in your seat and asking them to move away or in this case, renegotiating seats so our group was together and their group was as close as they could have been.

And all this even before the train moved! Once out of Dadar, though, this train stops at Thane and Panvel before embarking on a journey that shows some spectacular sights. The one pitfall of sitting in the AC Chair Car is the tint on the windows. It makes everything look calmer than it is and perhaps prettier too. So as I looked out (after a couple of hours of sleep, of course), it was breathtaking to find clear blue waters and seemingly untouched fields that swayed in the wind. Kind of reminded one of the cinematography in a Yash Chopra movie! But a quick step out of the AC compartment revealed the harshness of the sun and the obviousness of the landscape. I was indeed still in Maharashtra!

As I wrote this in the train, connecting to the Internet using my untrustworthy Reliance NetConnect card proved why I thought the card was untrustworthy. Perhaps the numerous tunnels we were going through prevented any strong signal from being engaged or perhaps it was just that Reliance sucks.

To be continued…

A recent map released on the Visit Britain site points out to Bollywood locations. Hang on! Wasn’t Bollywood in Mumbai? But hey, there is growing interest and the Brits are being smart. First it was coming to India and exporting stuff, now they are making the most of India’s exports. Smart!

“Britain’s popularity as a Bollywood backdrop can only help us raise our profile among this growing audience and Bollywood Britain will show them all they can enjoy while they are here.”

Fair enough. But when did the IIFA awards become the Oscars of Bollywood?

Madame Tussaud’s waxwork museum recently unveiled its latest likeness of a Bollywood superstar – Shah Rukh Khan. The actor is among the nominees at the IIFA awards, dubbed the Bollywood Oscars, picking up a best actor nod for his leading role in Don.

Sheesh. No one tells me anything these days!

Map can be downloaded here. [PDF warning!] | Above image courtesy the BBC.

During my travels, there was one thing that continuously rankled me. This was something that in fact began last week when I travelled to Delhi. How much of a disregard the average and above average Indian has for rules is mind-boggling. Simple things, really. When the air-hostess says “Please straighten your seat back”, do it man/woman. It’s for your good and of course the airline doesn’t want to pay if you break your neck during takeoff.

And why is it so necessary to switch on cell phones before the plane has come to a complete standstill? How difficult is life going to be if you waited another 3 or 4 minutes? But no. Everyone’s phones start beeping and ringing as soon as the plane starts taxi-ing. Whether it’s dangerous or not is debatable, but if you have been asked not to, don’t.

There are striking similarities between Bangalore and Pune especially in the traffic. And these were more painfully apparent than I cared to know this time. No idea why. Both cities (by that I refer to the people) show a disregard bordering on contempt for traffic signals, and any traffic rules in general. I won’t get into specifics or I’ll write for the rest of the day, but anyone who has lived in both cities will know what I say. Mumbai is marginally better but not too much.

And what’s with the incomplete look Pune has been displaying for a while now? When will the footpaths be ready? When will the roads be complete? When will electricity not fluctuate? The last one really cost us and we lost a TV, fridge and two ACs in a vague fluctuation on Saturday night. Despite all MCBs being in place (and no, that is not the combined swear-term!).

All the same, I really enjoyed both cities and yes, a lot of work and a family function attendance (why am I not surprised?) was achieved as was a trip to Kayani Bakery on East St. in Pune. Ah those wine biscuits. Time to bite into a few. Maybe I’ll have the plain cake before that… or the Shrewsbury? Oh the choice!

People are stupid. I am one of them. But after reading this story, I feel smarter! Why? Because even if I did plan a trip online, I normally would not end up 8,000 miles off course!

A twenty-one year old German tourist planned to take a trip to Sydney, Australia, but wound up 8,077 miles off-course — headed instead for the small oil town of Sydney, Montana, after mistyping his destination into a flight booking Web site. The man didn’t notice anything was wrong until he was about to board a flight from Portland to chilly Montana, dressed in summer vacation clothes.

And his mum thinks he’s good with computers. Sure, he must be. He booked the flights and travelled, didn’t he? It’s the thinking part he’s not good with!