We are in a scam bull-run. Every week, there’s something new. It does mean that scammers have had a great run last few months/years/decades, but look closely and you’ll notice that a lot of these are recent scams. For instance, CWG 2010, Adarsh Hsg Soc., 2G/3G scams, Antrix scam, *insert appropriate city name here* land scam, etc. There’s many more.
This post, however, is not about the past. It’s about looking forward. Like with any sector, there is tremendous competition in the scam industry as well. Politicians and their kin have unfortunately taken the lead here too, but the common man shouldn’t despair. It is the relative scale of a scam that determines its success. So go for the low-hanging fruit even if it’s smaller. Given the amount of money the country loses, I think there’s a case for having an industry body to ensure scams are indeed perpetrated correctly and that they follow previously set guidelines or best (worst?) practices. We need to get organized.
- A scam must be at least worth Rs 100 crore in size. If not, news channels and newspapers won’t think it worth their time and money unearthing it. Neither would the government. You’d end up going totally under the radar. What’s the point of a work of art if no one can see and enjoy it?
- A scam must affect minimum 20 families. Preferrably, these families must belong to the great Indian middle class and have proof that they have worked honestly and very hard for many years to collect their wealth. This is the wealth that must be the point of contention. Else, it’s just a plain robbery. No Robin Hood tactics allowed.
- A scam must involve at least one well-known politician, his family member(s) and an obscure central government neta. Without these, you will never get the scale you desire. It is fine if the central govt. chap has risen from obscurity and first hits the limelight only during the scam. Nothing prepares them better than a first-hand experience.
- A scam must be wide-reaching enough to compel the Opposition Party (at the Municipal Council, Gram Panchayat, State or Central Govt. level) to demand that the CBI or the ED get involved.
Of course, the above is a work in progress. I look at you — the populace of India that will be affected by one of these pretty soon — to add to it. We need to have some organisation and propreity about this. It can’t happen willy-nilly about it. I foresee a business model in consulting upcoming scamsters, creating syllabi for interested scamsters and also working on the other side — with law enforcement to identify perpetrators. If you would like to be a part of this movement, I invite your thoughts and need you to deposit Rs 1 million into my Swiss Bank account (number available on request). Remember, limited partnerships available.
Additional inspiration reading:
P.S.: I also welcome suggestions for new scams. Forms available upon payment of Rs 1000 into an Indian account. Receipt available post scam.