Dev Patel and Anil Kapoor in a still from Slumdog Millionaire

So everyone, their uncle and his dog have had something to say about Slumdog Millionaire (SM). And not without reason. It is by far the most globally acclaimed Indian-subject film in a long time. And I say Indian subject since contrary to others’ views, I do not believe that SM is an Indian film at all. However, I do believe that with the amount of Indians involved, it is not unusual to feel the excessive affinity that we are currently experiencing.

I haven’t seen the movie yet. I will rush to the preview show tomorrow night if I can get the tickets. But I have been watching some rushes and trailers and I cannot understand what the brouhaha is all about. Especially this dude — some Nirpal Dhaliwal (hu?) — who seems to insist that no Indian could have made a film like SM. Obviously he hasn’t seen Salaam Bombay or the likes as Gaurav rightly points out. What’s he on? And who’s he?

I can even understand Nirpal man’s angst against Bollywood but why take the personal potshots:

Bachchan is no doubt riled, as many other Bollwood no-talents will be, about the fact that the best film to be made about India in recent times has been made by a white man, Danny Boyle.

Add to this another wannabe pseudo-intellectual piece of work in Pune Mirror and you are left scratching your head. Sample this:

…next time first-worlders talk about India, they are going to talk about Slumdog Millionaire. And the first syllable they mouth while talking about our country will be ‘slum’. 

Er, no. It’ll probably be Satyam!

Anyways, to each his own. There are some reviews that do matter to me, though. And these at present offer a conflicting impression. Greatbong doesn’t like it:

I did not like “Slumdog Millionaire”. Or perhaps I should say I was not at all impressed.  Maybe it was all the hype, the Oscar buzz and the “It is soooo awesome” first-person accounts I have heard over the last few weeks that led me to go into the theater with unrealistic expectations

But WOGMA endorses it: 

In a unique setup the movie is so close to real life and at the same time takes you on a fantasy flight.

From what I’ve seen and heard of the movie so far, the music is stunning. Redundant statement, yes, but I just had to say that! And I may actually by a CD after years! I’ll of course share my opinion once I’ve seen the movie tomorrow. It can’t be worse than CC2C or RNBDJ!

I spent a good amount of money and decided to see Tashan. A grave error in judgement. And one that was compounded by the fact that I decided to ignore the various reviews available to me. To all those experts, I apologise for ignoring their knowledgeable opinion. I should have known better. I am still, for the record, assuming Tashan means style. And that’s all this movie has.

Having said that, however, the movie isn’t entirely a disaster. The songs were good. The locations great. The acting okay. Anil Kapoor rocked as Bhaiyyaji, Akshay Kumar was great as Bachchan Pandey, Kareena Kapoor was visible in size zero and Saif Ali Khan kept doing something to his moustache that was rather distracting. It grew and shrunk at will although the time in the movie had moved ahead by barely a night. Must have a really fertile face!

I won’t get into the story details. That’s been done better by those who have more understanding of why it works and why it doesn’t.

My thoughts on the movie are that it isn’t all bad. It is good for more than 75% of the duration. The director really loses the plot (ironic, eh?) in the last 30 minutes or so. Actually, a little earlier when it turns out that Kareena Kapoor is indeed Akshay Kumar’s childhood sweetheart. It is as formulaic as it can get and a throwback to all the crap we were subjected to through the late 1980s and early 1990s as the lost-and-found formula was on its last legs. For reasons best known to himself, the director decided to revive this. And with catastrophic results to put it mildly.

There are definitely some good things about the movie as I listed above. But the highlight for me is the characterisation of Anil Kapoor and Akshay Kumar. These two prove that they are indeed stalwarts and the best around. Despite their best efforts, however, the movie cannot retain a grain of reality in the end. I mean, pray tell why there is a flying speedboat at the end? Wait, don’t answer. I don’t care.

My suggestion would be to watch the movie for these two actors and then catch a couple of songs. Otherwise, make full use of the air-conditioning in this heat and catch some shuteye!