Matching Marathis!

FB recommendsFacebook does a fine job of most things. But this is hilarious. I know it’s just a suggestion and based on common users between the two groups. But something about the text in that sentence is not right…

Of course, I’m referring to the Madhuri Dixit page recommendation based on the fact that “Many who like Pu La Deshpande like this”. Yes, I like PL, but I don’t want to be a fan of MD.

The Office and Seinfeld, on the other hand, seem like a good fit!

Kick here

For the Indian fan smarting from India’s dismal show at the ICC World T20, MS Dhoni and Yusuf Pathan offer a great outlet for frustration.

dhoni-yusuf-asses

Seems to say: “Yes, we’re asses”. Oh, well.

Image: Cricinfo

Very hilarious, innit?

British comedy is one of my favourites to laugh with. And when done by the incredibly talented Sanjeev Bhaskar & Co., it’s immensely more enjoyable.

Like this bit.

Open the glove box, heh!

(via IndieQuill)

Class 1 or 4?

This is a forward. But worth reading:

A beautiful Madam was having trouble with one of her students in 1st Grade class. Madam asked,’Boy. what is your problem?’ 

Boy answered, ‘I’m too smart for the first-grade. My sister is in the third-grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 4th Grade!’ 

Madam had enough. She took the Boy to the principal’s office. While the Boy waited in the outer office, madam explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Madam he would give the boy a test and if he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the first-grade and behave.She agreed. The Boy was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test. 

Principal: ‘What is 3 x 3?’ 
Boy.: ‘9’. 

Principal: ‘What is 6 x 6?’ 
Boy.: ’36’. 

And so it went with every question the principal thought a 4th grade should know. The principal looks at Madam and tells her, ‘I think Boy can go to the 4th grade.’ 

Madam says to the principal, ‘I have some of my own questions. Can I ask him ?’ The principal and Boy both agreed. 

Madam asks, ‘What does a cow have four of that I have only two of’?
Boy, after a moment ‘Legs.’ 

Madam: ‘What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?’
Boy.: ‘Pockets.’ 

Madam: What starts with a C and ends with a T, is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin whitish liquid?
Boy.: Coconut 

Madam: What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft And sticky?
The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer, Boy was taking charge.
Boy.: Bubblegum 

Madam: What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs?
The principal’s eyes open really wide and before he could stop the answer… 
Boy.: Shake hands 

Madam: You stick your poles inside me. You tie me down to get  me up. I get wet before you do. 
Boy.: Tent 

Madam: A finger goes in me. You fiddle with me when you’re bored. The best man always has me first.
The Principal was looking restless, a bit tense and took one large Patiala Vodka peg. 
Boy.: Wedding Ring 

Madam: I come in many sizes. When I’m not well, I drip. When you blow me, you feel good. 
Boy.: Nose 

Madam: I have a stiff shaft. My tip penetrates.. I come with a quiver. 
Boy.: Arrow 

Madam: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ that means lot of heat and excitement? 
Boy.: Fire truck 

Madam: What word starts with a ‘F’ and ends in ‘K’ & if u don’t get it, u have to use ur hand. 
Boy.: Fork 

Madam: What is it that all men have one of it’s longer on some men than on others, the pope doesn’t use his and a man gives it to his wife after they’re married? 
Boy.: SURNAME.

Madam: What part of the man has no bone but has muscles, has lots of veins, like pumping, & is responsible for making love ? 
Boy.: HEART. 

The principal breathed a sigh of relief and said to the teacher, ‘Send this Boy to IIM AHMEDABAD, I got the last ten questions wrong myself!’.

Michael Clarke will be the next Tendulkar

Michael Clarke is all set to become Australia’s next ODI captain. At present, he is the only batsman apart from Ricky Ponting and occasionally Mike Hussey who looks like they belong to the international stage. Over the next 2-3 years, he will be the only one left. Ponting and Hussey will eventually — sooner than later — retire.

Around Clarke is currently a mediocre collection of domestic players. Fitness apart, they don’t offer much on the field. They are seen to be woefully lacking in some basic skills and unfortunately for them, won’t have a wealth of experience or the ‘winning mindset’ around them like Clarke did when he started out.

As a result, this team can only go from its current worrying state to a confirmed state of worry. A la the West Indies. In such a scenario, Michael Clarke is the man on whose shoulders will rest the burden of the entire Australian team. With a weak back, he may or may not be able to handle that! Who knows. But his situation will be similar to that of Sachin Tendulkar’s until about 3 years ago when his wicket would trigger an astonishing collapse on the field and an exodus in the stands!

The exodus notwithstanding, the collapses are already evident. Only now, they are happening after Ponting’s wicket. But Clarke is set to replace Ponting. So in two ways, now, we can be certain that he is up against it for the next decade of cricket of his international career. If he lasts that long.

Sachin only had weak elbows. His back was is strong!