If George Costanza had his way, we would be born as old people and die as children after living out the best years of our life as children! Amen to that!

“The most unfair thing about life is the way it ends. I mean, life is tough. It takes up a lot of your time. What do you get at the end of it? A death. What’s that, a bonus?!?

I think the life cycle is all backwards. You should die first, get it out of the way. Then you go live in an old age home. You get kicked out when you’re too young, go collect all your super, then, when you start work, you get a gold watch on your first day. You work forty years until you’re young enough to enjoy your retirement. You drink alcohol, you party, and you get ready for High School. You go to primary school, you become a kid, you play, you have no responsibilities, you become a little baby, you go back into the womb, you spend your last 9 months floating with luxuries like central heating, spa, room service on tap, then you finish off as an orgasm! Amen.”

(Unfortunately, I can’t find that video of George)

Of course that’s not going to happen! So the best way to be a kid is to be around them. I was lucky to be around a bunch of them recently at my niece’s sixth birthday party. And it was amazing how many parents indulged in the ‘kid’s’ games and had a bit more fun than just the kids!

Playing some of the rather inane (and embarrassing games — no details) felt strange. Laughing with the kids as they fought, cried for winning stickers and pencils and sitting all angry because they didn’t get to win (again) was fun. While I was dreading the evening that may have panned out as a cry-fest, I was eventually happy that I did attend and that it turned out to be such a blast. 

The massive flower basket cake also helped. And it was probably the only party in a very long time that I had been to where alcohol wasn’t served. Thank god for that, chaat and Pepsi!

And after ‘Traffic Signal’, nothing really surprises me. But this weekend was an eye-opener to be honest. So here’s what happened…

There’s a guy who is supposed to be cleaning the car daily and once weekly from inside. He is a habitual bunker and after about four warnings over the last year, I finally decided I had had enough. Apparently, he hadn’t! And that counted more than what I thought!

So I called him over, paid him for 15 days of work and fired him. And appointed someone else. But our man wasn’t too happy with this. He went and spoke to the new recruit and told him that there would be ‘consequences’ if he cleaned my car. Sigh.

The new recruit refused to have anything to do with me or the car. He is not yet part of the cartel, I later found out and is considered and outsider by the controlling party! So I track down the fired employee and ask him the deal. “Don’t hire him. Hire anyone else. He charges less. I brought him so many clients and he is now stealing my client. Gaddar!,” said fired man. WHAT?!?

So now I was unclear whether this was a loyalty issue (among themselves) or a money issue. Interestingly, I was yet to discuss money with the new chap.

As things panned out, I re-hired the old one, had a good firm chat with him and am really hoping he is more regular.

Mind you, I remain baffled as ever about how he got me to revert my decision. Incidentally, our cook didn’t like when we told her the rotis weren’t good. She stopped coming effective Saturday. I don’t know what to do now!

In Mumbai, I never had this problem. For one, the car cleaners were much cheaper and more regular, punctual, better… I did have an irregular chap in Bangalore, though… but nowhere as bad as this!