The traffic police will be imposing fines for not wearing helmets. Ok, good. But here’s the kicker:

But the fines would be imposed only if the two-wheeler riders violate traffic rules like jumping signals or lane cutting. For example, if a two-wheeler rider without a helmet jumps a traffic signal, the police would penalise him for jumping the signal and for not wearing a helmet.

Say what? Does that also mean there won’t be a fine if I jump a signal with a helmet?

Only in Pune, I say!

But there is hope yet. Some solutions can go a long way in “curbing the overenthusiasm” on Pune’s roads. Suggestions:

1. Place spikes (big enough to puncture bus tyres too) at the STOP line that come up when the light turns yellow and go down only when it turns green. This will not only control speed, but also stop that irritating habit some have of standing across the line or zooming through before the traffic light has turned green. Or worse, after it’s turned red!
2. Create separate routes for buses and trucks. Ideally, don’t allow trucks into the city from 8am to 10pm. That’ll ease the roads.
3. Allow citizen policing. That is, if I see someone breaking the law, I can report them. Or beat them up. Maybe just report them!
4. Refuse taxi licenses. Outright. Bas.
5. Give drivers authority to run someone over (pedestrian or driver) if they are breaking the law. Serious. Else, we’ll only amplify this state of chaos we call traffic.
6. Build better and bigger roads. I know, I’m clutching to straws here, but hey, I can wish right? Thoda aur wish karo!

Sure, none of the above is going to happen. And I may just have to heed to Alok’s advise about finding Zen in Pune traffic. The trouble here, though, is that if I smirk or giggle at someone, that’s good enough to start a fight! So I have to just stare at them. It’s a never-ending game of “who blinks first”. And normally, the flow of traffic decides the winner!